Lists I Love, Part 3: The Bill of Rights

Grunge American Flag for Independence Day. Vector Illustration

You can view the first two lists I love at these links: List 2: Rules of the Rebellion and List 1: The Ten Commandments

This week’s list is The Bill of Rights.

The Bill of Rights encompasses the first ten amendments to the Constitution. So yes, if you made fun of Trump for his 11th amendment, you are the one who is wrong. There are actually 27 amendments to the Constitution. The first ten that were ratified make up the Bill of Rights.

Why do I love this list? Because I love my freedom. That is what the Constitution is all about. Created because we fought for independence from Britain. Because we didn’t want to be controlled by a monarchy and we wanted the right to speak up, defend ourselves, etc….

For more information on the Bill of Rights, the other 11-27 amendments, or the Constitution check out The Bill of Rights Institute.

THE BILL OF RIGHTS

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. So yes, we can speak our mind. And yes, we can assemble. No you cannot assemble to cause anarchy, but you can do so peaceable (which means no violence, no trashing businesses, no beating on police, no graffiti, no fires, and on and on).

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. This one is touchy for people and there will be many who don’t agree with me, but this is a good amendment. INANIMATE OBJECTS DON’T KILL. PEOPLE KILL (If you blame guns, then you blame cars for drunk drivers or people hell-bent on running others over for killing. If you blame guns, you blame knives for jumping up and slicing people. If you blame guns, you blame fertilizer used to create bombs used to kill people). You can take away all the weapons you want, but you can’t take away someone’s intent to kill, they will use whatever means necessary. And they won’t go about it legally. I value the right to defend myself. I also value the right to do so responsibly. Therefore, I abide by the law. 

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law. Remember history, soldiers could boot people out of their homes and move in. You know, cause dealing with the effects of war in your area wasn’t bad enough, then you got be homeless.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. Pretty self-explanatory. Good law, one that officers are very familiar with. 

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. Again, self-explanatory. 

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense. You may wonder why some cases don’t seem so speedy. The reason is that parties throw in motions for all kinds of stuff delaying the time frame. Also the defendant’s lawyer may need more time to dig up something to help his client’s case. This works both ways, as the prosecutors also get more time to dig up stuff to help their case. 

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law. This is one of those things that is supposedly straight-forward, but yet confuses us all. The main question of “If they can’t be reexamined then why was there another trial?” Because it’s one of those things with a slew of exceptions. I admit, I still have to learn more about this one. 

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted. Again self-explanatory. 

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. Basically, this is acknowledging that there are other rights in place that have not been mentioned and they cannot be  violated. 

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people. Anything the Federal government doesn’t control is left up to the separate states or people to decide.

There it is. What are your favorite lists and why?

 

Part Two: Lists I Love – Rules of the Rebellion

Last week I posted the number one list I love – you can find it Here.

This week, I’m swooning over this list by Steve Kamb who wrote Level Up Your Life (link will take you to Amazon because I thoroughly believe everyone needs this). It’s kind of self-help meets rules for life meets tough love. And that is why I love it! Kick-Ass Cheerleader is so happy right now (she wears a leather jacket, black jeans, and instead of cheering with pom-poms, she cheers with a swift kick to the keester with her kick-ass boots).

These rules are posted on Nerd Fitness, but I received permission to copy them here from Team Nerd Fitness (thank you Noel!)

Why do I love this list? Well I’m just going to have to answer each segment separately (my comments are in red). Check the list out, then get your keester over to Nerd Fitness or Level Up Your Life (the website, not the book link this time) and get your life on track.

Rules of the Rebellion

#1. We don’t care where you came from, only where you’re going.

We don’t care where you came from or how you got here, as we all have different backgrounds, genetics, social status, and commitments. Like creating a random character in a role-playing game, we were all “dealt a hand” that we had absolutely no control over—it’s now up to us to play that hand to the best of our ability. Our a kick-ass group of people push each other to level up our lives.

We figure out what went wrong (sh** happens, remember?), and then we work together to find a way to fix it.

The past is just that: the past. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life if you truly believe that. (I know too many people who are content to play the “victim of my past” card because it’s easier than putting in hard work. Everyone has a past. Some are more difficult, all are surmountable.)

#2. When you join, you’re in for life.

We aren’t looking for quick fixes or for people who aren’t interested in making permanent, lasting changes. The Rebellion is full of people who are interested in prioritizing adventure, happiness, and improvement.

If your friends won’t join you on your mission, then you’ll have to lead by example until they decide to follow. It’s a heavy burden to bear, but one that will absolutely make your life more fulfilling. (I love this, don’t do the dabble, jump in and every morning when you wake up and you want to put something off, repeat over and over ad nauseam “Just get it done,” until you do it. That’s how changes become permanent.)

#3. We train as naturally as possible.

When we train for adventure, we do so by preparing our bodies with real-world movements! We don’t use machines; we focus on movements that recruit multiple muscle groups and efficiently set us up to be antifragile.

Here’s my complete stance on free weights vs. machines. (This is awesome, nixes all those “I can’t afford a gym” excuses. We don’t need gyms. Just start with what you have right now and make it work).

#4. We understand that you can’t outrun your fork.

How we fuel our bodies is 80 percent of the battle and will determine how successful we will be on the battlefield of life. I’m not talking about switching to all salads and water, but instead making small, calculated changes to what you eat over a long period of time.

We eat real food. We understand that although the total number of calories we eat certainly impacts our health, WHAT those calories are made of is just as important, if not more so. (Small changes over a long-period of time. Real food. What’s not to love here?)

#5. We train with conviction and intelligence.

When exercising, we have a plan for what we’re going to do, and we know how hard we need to push ourselves to be better than the day before. When setting life goals, we have a plan for what we’re going to do, and what needs to be accomplished in order for us to make progress. Then, we do it.

We plan out what kind of superhero we want to be, pick our own super power, and work every day toward becoming that hero. Those who are willing to dedicate themselves to the cause will get results. Settling is not an option. (This takes all the tough love and makes it warm. Who doesn’t want to be a superhero? The best support in the world is from people who will tell it to you straight and believe in you to make those changes)

#6. We exercise because it’s fun.

Find something that makes you happy, gets your heart pumping, and will keep you in shape. There is something out there for everybody, so keep searching and keep pushing until you find something that drives you to succeed. Yoga, karate, cycling,Belegarth, whatever it is—find it and do it. This is a crucial part of an adventurous life! (He’s given tough love, warmed it up a bit, and now he’s encouraging fun. Really, this list is awesome!)

#7. We never leave our wingmen.

We’re all in this together, and we’re here to support each other.

Although we have friendly competitions, it’s all in good fun to keep us accountable.

If you are training or leveling up your life with friends in real life or online, pick them up when they’re down, motivate them when they’re tired, push them when they need encouragement, and yell when they need tough love. They’ll do the same for you one day, and we’ll all be better off because of it.

Never leave your wingman. (Truer words were never spoken).

#8. We question everything.

The Rebellion exists to open our minds to a world in which the impossible is possible. Like waking up from the Matrix, we want to show you what is possible. One day, you can lift that weight, run that mile, lose those extra pounds. We question conventional wisdom and social norms and “because that’s how it’s always been done” tricks us into living lives of complacency. We find our own path. It’s up to us to take what we’ve learned, question it, and find a way to apply it to our lives. (He says question, I say research. Same thing, always remember to ask the vital questions: Who, what, why, when, and how?)

#9. We take care of business

If you’re a gamer, keep gaming. If you’re a family man, you better show up at your kid’s soccer game instead of staying late at work. We all have things we love in life, things that are important to us, that make us who we are. As long as these things aren’t detrimental to our health, then I encourage you to keep doing them. We also have obligations to our families, employers, and friends—we do what we say and we say what we do. (This is the key; do what you want, but keep your responsibilities in check).

#10. We take pride in ourselves.

Too many people blame their unfortunate situation on the government, the weather, their genetics, global warming, the economy, their parents, etc. Not us. We don’t expect anything to be handed to us; we are not owed anything by anybody. In fact, it’s our responsibility as humans to live the best life possible. (revisit my comments on the first rule – applies here, too).

We want to be better husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, people. We want to be stronger, faster, and healthier—we know it’s going to take a lot of hard work and determination to get there.

We welcome the challenge.

The more daunting the task, the sweeter the victory.  We like being the underdog, because everybody loves a good underdog story.  Life is hard, and it’s those that shut up and get things done that succeed.

I want to be the best damn Steve Kamb that I can be, and that means I need to be in the best shape of my life and help others to do the same. I’m doing what I can to help build an army of incredibly intelligent, efficient, informed, and fit nerds.  Don’t worry Mom, when we take over we’ll be using our powers for good, inspiring others to transform their own lives.

ARE YOU MOTIVATED YET? If not you may need to have your pulse checked.

And if you need a little more tough love check out these Kick-Ass Cheerleader posts:

K.A. Cheerleader 1K.A. Cheerleader 2K.A. Cheerleader 3

Lists I Love, Part One: The Ten Commandments

Ten Commandments

Ten Commandments

Lists I Love, Part One: The Ten Commandments

I’m a list lover so I figured “why not share some of my favorite lists of all time?” starting with the Ten Commandments.

A little background: I believe in God. I’m not some psycho religious fanatic like Carrie’s mother (Stephen King’s book, Carrie). I do try to live a decent Christian life. I’m not a regular church goer. I say prayers every night and sometimes during the day when I need encouragement or see or hear something tragic.

However, I have never read the whole Bible. That is something I’ve wanted to do and just never made it a priority. I’m happy to say, it’s a priority. I began reading the Bible from the beginning, who begat who and all, in February of this year (2016) and I’m currently on the book of 2 Samuel.

Before you read them I challenge you to remember all ten. I never read them all prior to reading the Bible from the beginning. I knew: #’s 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10. But all ten? Yeah, no, I didn’t know them all.

Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, The Ten Commandments (taken from my Life Application Study Bible – because the one in the picture above I don’t always understand what’s going on).

Ten Commandments – Exodus 20:3-17

  1. Do not worship any other gods beside me.
  2. Do not make idols of any kind, whether in the shape of birds or animals or fish. You must never worship or bow down to them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not share your affection with any other god! I not leave unpunished the sins of those who hate me, but I punish the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generations. But I lavish my love on those who love me and obey my commands, even for a thousand generations.
  3. Do not misuse the name of the LORD your God. The LORD will not let you unpunished if you misuse his name.
  4. Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days a week are set apart for your daily duties and regular work, but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to the LORD your God. On that day no one in your household may do any kind of work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the LORD made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; then he rested on the seventh day. That is why the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.
  5. Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God will give you.
  6. Do not murder.
  7. Do not commit adultery.
  8. Do not steal.
  9. Do not testify falsely against your neighbor.
  10. Do not covet your neighbor’s house. Do not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else your neighbor owns.

Okay fess up, did you know all of them?

Creepy and Cool Twins

Typical Twin Bickering

Typical Twin Bickering

When I discovered I was pregnant with twins I did what most people do: Freaked the heck out and then got busy researching anything and everything I could about twins. In all that research I learned creepy, cool, and bizarre twin stuff.

THE CREEPY:

While driving home a week ago my boys and I began sharing freaky dreams (one of my disturbing ones ended up in Chicken Soup’s Dreams and Premonitions). Twin B related a goosebump inducing dream. Twin A, promptly whipped around in the car with a “No way.” He had a dream eerily similar – like disturbingly similar. Twin A then added, “but that was a while ago.” Twin B responded that so was his. We were all silent as we processed this.

This reminded me of two creepy incidences I read about a couple sets of twins (I know there are more, but these ones just stood out):

In the category of Severely Disturbing we have June and Jennifer Gibbons, AKA The Silent Twins. I linked to DeAnna Janes’ article about these two at The Lineup.  The Gist: They decided that one of them had to die for the other to lead a normal life.

In the category of Simultaneous Random Act of Madness, we have Ursula and Sabina Eriksson. The link takes you to Bizarrepedia’s story of these two (along with video of the incident). The Gist: They both ran into traffic.

In the category of Twins Should Never Drive Separately, we have Lorraine and Levinia Christmas: Twins Crash Into Each Other. The link takes you to The Hearald (Herald Scotland). The Gist: They crashed into each other. And they aren’t the only twins to do so. This tells me the boys sharing a vehicle is a good thing.

THE COOL:

No link for this one. Idioglassia is the term used to describe Twin Talk. Basically, twins make up their own language and anyone on the outside is S.O.L (Snot Out of Luck) at figuring out what they want. My boys had their own language going so I am now bilingual in English and TwinTalk (I wonder if I can put that on a resume?).

I was lucky enough to witness a “name the object” event. The object was the blankie. A little history of the blanket: They each had the exact same blanket. Yet for whatever reason they would fight over whose was whose.The only way I could end the battle was to take both blankets put them behind my back and then hand one to each boy. I guess in their mind they each thought they were getting the one blanket they were fighting over.

Anyway, I walked into the living room as the boys were sitting face to face. One had the blanket, looked at it, handed to his brother and said, “NaNa.” The other took the blanket, looked at it, and asked, “NaNa?” To which the other replied definitively, “NaNa.” From that moment forth the blankies became NaNas. I’m glad I witnessed this episode because the boys lost a blankie shortly after that and cried for the NaNa.

Just a few other vocabulary words:

  • Uh-Oh: Which didn’t mean an accident, it meant Skeleton. Which I guess the bones outside of the body could definitely be an uh-oh.
  • Gooey-ooey-oo: Which was a spider
  • Ghunkin: Spiderman (I still don’t know why he wasn’t named Gooey-ooey-oo man).
  • IckAdickAdoo: I do not know what this was. They ran by me one day, stopped, pointed behind me, yelled “Oh no! An ick-a-dick-a-doo!” and took off running.

When the boys started preschool I translated five pages of words for the teacher.

THE BIZARRE:

When you have twins you meet everyone who failed biology. I once met a woman who insisted that boys can’t be identical. But she proceeded to tell me how her sister’s, neighbor’s, nephew’s, co-worker’s, best-friend’s, lawn boy’s, sister had identical girl/boy twins. Really?

Now, while I believe this lady was misinformed, I have to admit that in all my research I did discover a bizarre event in which boy/girl twins can be identical.

This is a link to a two-minute video by National Geographic which explains this interesting tidbit.

Do you have any twins stories to share?

Value the Small Things

DSCN7322f

My husband and I had to switch vehicles a few days ago. I drive a truck since I’m usually hauling a crew of boys around (and because, truth be told, I love the truck and its horn). My husband drives a little wagon perfect for decent gas mileage and getting in and out of tight spots, which is super for him because he’s all over the place for work. However, on this day I had a doctor appointment in Seattle. The garage at the doctor’s doesn’t accommodate anything over a peapod on wheels (yes, hyperbole, but not too far off). Hence the great vehicle swap of 2016.

My husband woke early to swap work gear and tools from his car to the truck. After he’d left I cringed. I forgot to get my sunglasses from the truck. I knew he’d be in Seattle, but he was in a different area, far from my path (mileage wise, not far; traffic wise, forget about it).

I got ready, locked the house, and hopped in the car. I went to drop my phone in the holder and there, neatly placed, were my sunglasses. I nearly cried, seriously tears welled in my eyes. It’s not like it was sunny, it was a typical overcast rainy one moment, torrential downpour with deep charcoal skies the next, followed by light gray clouds back-lit by the suns’ rays. It’s the latter that makes my eyes water. It’s also something I’ve never mentioned to my husband.

Add in that we rarely swap vehicles and you see why his thoughtfulness of transferring my sunglasses hit me so hard.

No matter how much money a person spends, no matter how far they go out of their way for a gift, nothing says “I love you,” more than a person who takes note of a tiny, nearly insignificant, quirk you have.

It’s easy to buy things. It’s a rare and truly wonderful gift to know the smallest details of the person you love.

Take note of those in your life. They don’t need dinners or fancy gifts, they need you to remember something special about them, something they’ve maybe said once in all the times you’ve hung out.

When someone remembers your name or remembers a drink you like or any other small thing, it makes you feel respected, appreciated, cared about.

I challenge you to find a tiny, minute, detail about a spouse, a friend, or a co-worker. Then sometime in the next week do something that recognizes that little detail and that doesn’t cost money. It’s harder than you think. Maybe a co-worker is bummed that she hasn’t found someone to walk with. You could be her walking partner or at the very least, offer to walk with her one day. Or maybe you have a friend who is tired of driving everyday for work. Maybe you can give her a lift one day.

There’s always something we can do that will brighten someone’s day and that will mean more than any $5 coffee card ever could.

And remember to value the small things people do to brighten your day.

I Shot the Gate Keeper and I Don’t Know Where to Hide the Body

Butterfly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Put the phone down, don’t call S.W.A.T., let me explain.

I write…if you’re here, you know that, so that’s a redundancy, sorry. Sadly, I ‘m not alone in that I have an evil voice over my shoulder censoring every thought my brain generates.

The voice is nasty. Mean. Vicious. “You can’t do that.”

“What do you know about that?”

“That is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.”

“Moron.”

“How can you write with such atrocious grammar skills?”

I call this voice the Gate Keeper. He filters my ideas and stifles my creativity. He is evilness at its worst.

All creative people, whether writer’s, musicians, artists, sculptors, etc…. have this evil voice. Some persevere despite the voice. Some succumb to the vileness and try to brick in their creative side so they can shut away the pain. Some, like me, do the deer in headlights thing. Freeze until the voice passes and then change direction in hopes of sneaking by the Gatekeeper unnoticed.

The problem with changing direction is that I’m not completing what I want. I’m training my brain to stop creating ideas. I mean the idea gets shut down really quick, so why bother? Some ideas filter out unseen or unheard by the Gate Keeper. But not for long, as I write them down to trap them, the voice starts nagging. If my children are home their noise can drown out the voice enough for me to get things done. But other times, frozen in headlights! .

Well, something happened. I was at the shooting range and the Gate Keeper came out. It told me I wasn’t good enough. I’d never get back to the skill level I had when I shot as a teen. It broke my heart. Yet something happened. A thought escaped. “You can do this. Set the gun down, take a deep breath, and shake off the angst.” I reloaded a magazine, stood there attempting to clear my head of all thoughts and then picked up the gun. I took aim. I took a breath. I fired. The shots were smoother, no more anticipation jerks while pulling the trigger. I even made a butterfly out of the orange center; it looks like its happily flying away. The trailing of the butterfly was before I stood up to the Gate Keeper.

The voice that took up so much space in my mind for so long started growing weaker. Not just with my shooting, but my writing, too. A few months later and the voice is no longer there – just the weight of the body that triggers my brain’s recall switch. I’m not at a loss for ideas anymore. Now, everywhere I look, everyone I talk to, gives me ideas.

Don’t get me wrong the ideas aren’t all perfect and golden. Some are downright stupid…and no, that’s not the Gate Keeper, that’s just my mind letting everything out. Because when it cleans out the junk it unburies the treasure.

All these ideas are freeing and wonderful and I can’t imagine ever letting it stop.

However, I need to get rid of the Gate Keeper’s body. I really don’t want to bury it in the wrong area – don’t want to take a chance of some creepy burial spot resurrecting it. I don’t want to toss it away lightly so I stumble over it later or leave it where another creative soul might stumble upon it. So, dear fellow creatives, where do I hide the body so it’s locked away from me and others?

The Non-P.C. Talk About Lateness

53HWe all have those people in our life that run late, constantly, incessantly, annoyingly late. Like everyone, I struggle to call these people out. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Today, I’m laying out the problem with lateness. If it changes just one late person’s ways, I feel that’s an accomplishment. If it just gives those who wait on these people a moment of “Thank you!” then, again, I consider that an accomplishment.

Now, I have a hard time getting inside the brain of a late person. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all late at some point in our lives. The average person is on time more than they’re late. I’m talking about those who are late all the time. The rare moments when they arrive on time we freak out because obviously the world is ending.

I assume inside the late person’s brain is something like: Should I wear yellow or blue? Oh I’m running late, hmmm, oh well, maybe red?

That’s my angry thought side. What’s probably happening is some chaotic scramble of trying to get out of the house at a reasonable time. That frustrates me. Most of the people I know are like me…middle age. I cannot fathom how after 40+ years they cannot figure out how to get themselves out at a normal time. They still have no concept of accounting for prep, possible delays, travel, errand stops, and arrival by a designated time.

I’m going to call this as I see it. And late people won’t like it. And it’s not a politically correct view. Late people, you are rude. You are disrespectful to your family and friends. It is utterly selfish to assume people should consistently wait on you.

As a person who has wasted many good hours of my life waiting on late people, I’ll tell you why you’re lateness is a problem.

When you’re coming to visit, especially to enjoy a meal, the host (yes, despite being family or super close friends you are still guests) sets aside a time frame. So if we figure on dinner at four, we assume 3:30 is a good arrival time. We figure you’ll stay 2 to four hours (more than enough for a visit – unless you don’t live within a 1.5 hour driving distance). We get up, we clean our home, we plan the meal, we plan on stopping all our chores and to-dos for your visit. Because we want to devote time to you. We care about you.

Now when you show up late, as in thirty minutes to an hour and a half late, everything is shot. We have no clue when to start the meal, cause we don’t want to over cook it. We don’t want to serve it cold. And Heaven forbid if you’re bringing something and it’s not ready-to-serve when you arrive, well then there’s another problem.  Mind you, we hosts are twiddling our thumbs playing the guessing game of “How late will they be?” Can I get started on a project or no? Instead we sit around with anxiety building because we can’t get involved in something in case you arrive. You are wasting our precious time. And if you stay later to make up for your late arrival, you’re really killing us. We set aside a time frame that we worked within and we planned on this downtime that we now don’t get. Just because you don’t abide by the time doesn’t mean we weren’t already on it. You are taking away more of our precious time.

What if you aren’t arriving at someone’s house? What if you’re in a carpool? Well again, you are wasting people’s time. We are idling gas away waiting for you. We have woken and gotten ourselves ready with the assumption that you will be on time. So when we sit around watching the clock tick away ten, fifteen minutes of our time, we’re frustrated that you didn’t call and give us the option or consideration of leaving without you. And if we are in a carpool because we don’t have a car on a certain day, you’re lateness is like holding us hostage.

When you show up late for a coffee date, we’ve cleared this time to spend with you. You’re lack of regard is like a slap in the face. “Your time means nothing to me. I don’t care that you could have done something else, you must wait on me.”

That’s how we take it. A slap. An ego too big to care about others making time for you. Do you ever wonder why people don’t have you over as often? It’s because we’re exhausted and we don’t have time to waste. We’d love to get together with you, but it’s hard to have respect for someone who doesn’t share respect for you.

That being said. Understand, we still love you. We love you because you’re family. We love you because you’re our friend. We love your sense of humor. We love visiting with you. We truly love you. But we are great compartmentalizers, so while we love you as a person, we still hate you when you’re late.

Not the most succinct or polite point of view, but in all honesty, politically correct responses are wishy-washy and vague.

 

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Completely Unprofessional Input on Sciatica

20160201_163313So I endured a bout of Sciatica right around Christmas. I will say muscle relaxants and pain killers make for a very low-stress Christmas.  Outside of that, Sciatica Sucks!

I don’t think I’ve ever been blase about people who’ve experienced it before, so I don’t believe this is Karma with a big chomp in the rear. However, I understood it was painful. I didn’t understand it can be downright debilitating. Seriously, I’d rather birth twins again. And I didn’t have any pain management for those boys, so that’s got to tell you something.

Long story short, I thought I was over the worst of it. I mean the doctor said it could flair up again 5, 10, 15 years from now. Once every 5 years? I can do that. I mean, I’d rather not, but as long as there is a nice long reprieve, I can do it.

Skip ahead to last week. 36 days from my first Sciatic flare-up. And holy friggin’ snotballs, why am I in pain again? I wish I had an answer, but all I can gather is my body is playing games with me.

Since I’ve been popping more meds than I’ve ever taken in my life and since I’ve been asking everyone who says they’ve experienced Sciatica how they dealt, I figured I’d share what I’ve learned.

First, let’s talk about how you know who has experienced true Sciatica and who hasn’t.

Those who have experienced it start with “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Oh man, that sucks. So sorry.” Really they don’t have much to offer. They’ll share what they did, but they admit, it doesn’t always work. They know it boils down to pain meds and “Godspeed my friend.”

Those who may have experienced it, albeit in a lighter form, begin with a list of things you should do. They don’t wait for you to ask, they dole out the advice like they are experts. And the advice varies: Sit in a hard chair (maybe for that guy, for me that felt like the knife stabbing me in the butt tore straight up into mid-spine). Do yoga (seriously, I’m virtually incapacitated, I can’t even bend over to put a sock on, how the Hell am I going to do any pose outside of whimpering dead-man on floor?).

Then there are those who’ve obviously never experienced it, but think they have. They start with: Yeah, I’ve had that. Usually they just stop there or they up the ante with the proverbial, “I have a high pain tolerance.” This said by a mother who had an epidural with the birth of her single child. Yeah, it’s easy to have pain tolerance when you begin with pain control!

Outside of all the advice: Keep moving, see your doctor, stretch, watch your posture, take an Epsom Salt bath (you know when you can sit for 15 minutes). You will endure lectures from doctors.

To be fair the two doctors I’ve seen were very nice and sympathetic. But you will question their motives later. Let me tell you how.

My first foray to the Prompt Care Facility they gave me a shot of Toradol in my backside. It kicked in within an hour. Damn, that stuff was amazing. Sucks that it has to wear off. The second foray to Prompt Care the doctor said they’d do a shot of Toradol. She’s lucky I couldn’t hop up and kiss her, I’ve never wanted a shot in my rear so bad. The nurse came in ( my pain has been on the left side) she put the shot in my right side. I asked her, “Will that get to my left side?” she assured me it would. Three hours later with no relief I was sure I got the one nurse who didn’t know what she was doing. I called the doctor’s office. Told them it hadn’t kicked in and maybe it had to be on the left side. Since I didn’t think I could trust them anymore I did what any level headed person would do: Put in a text to the family member that is a nurse. Apparently, it doesn’t always work and no the nurse didn’t mess up. Maybe there was a reason they didn’t do the left side. Gee, thanks Sis, kind of wanted you to go kick her heiny.

Now, while at the doctor for the second time, she lectured me to get in to see my primary doctor. I already told them I had an appointment. I even told them I tried to get it moved up, but between her busy schedule and her vacation, no go. I got a few more reminders that I was instructed to go to my doctor. I’m trying, I’m not arguing, I’m really trying. This is when you feel like a little kid and your parents don’t believe you.

Here’s another thing you will learn when you have Sciatica: You will become paranoid that the doctor somehow coded the prescription for the pharmacy to give you a less effective pain killer. Yeah, not my finest moment in life. I did learn that Target Pharmacy lists who the supplier is that doled out your particular med. I did not know this until I searched my bottle over for something different from the previous container. It really doesn’t help, but just something I learned. Also, never call the pharmacy and question their medication. That doesn’t fare well. Just trust me.

Now, I’m not a druggie. Pain killers are narcotics. Since so many people misuse them they don’t give you many. In December I received 10 tablets. I made those last. I even had one left over when the second bout of Sciatica kicked in, so I used it for some much needed rest.

This time, the pain killers weren’t kicking in as quickly. I know I didn’t build up a resistance to them. Cause, again, I hadn’t been popping them as often as I was prescribed. The first round of Sciatica pain killers kicked in within a half hour. These were taking up to 2 to 3 hours. I searched online to see if there might be a defect from this manufacturer. I couldn’t locate anything, but I did come across that druggies grind up their pills to get the effect quicker.

This is sad to admit, but I took advice from a druggie. The next time I woke up in agony, I chewed a small bit from a pill and then swallowed the rest. I don’t recommend this, it tastes nastier than all get up, but I will say, it worked. Again, though not recommended, who knows what I’ve screwed up in my system by doing that.

And that’s all I know about Sciatica. Basically, not much, but figured there might be some useful bits in there for someone suffering. The useful bits being: Just go to the doctor. Don’t try to ride it out. Just bite the bullet and get to the doctor.

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Just Go For It

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I’ve struggled with blog posts over the years. I’ve tried to follow guidelines for building readers. I tried writing in a niche: writing about writing. Writing what I know – customer service, parenting (even though there’s no gauge that says any parent is doing it right). A few times I let random things pop in and just as quickly retreat because I feared stirring up waters.

The problem was, that wasn’t/isn’t me. I like random things that are disjointed and don’t connect. I like learning things I don’t know about. I love sharing what I learn, I love writing what intrigues me. I let fear of not having a tidy niche, fear of offending, fear of losing readers override my desire to blog.

The outcome was a stagnant blog, one that sat and made me cringe because it wasted away for so long. From this day forth, I write what intrigues me. If that means I’m all about parenting one day and all about chiropractors another, then so be it. In the end, I just want to share what I learn so others can benefit from that knowledge. I want to share my thoughts so that maybe others can see a situation in a new light. I want to share encouragement because we all need it. I want to share struggles because we’re all human and we all go through them.

I may upset people or I may make people laugh.  I may lose readers or I may gain readers. In the end if just one thing resonates with one person whether it’s a tip, a smile, a new perspective, then I’m happy.

Get a hammer and break through the walls of fear that are holding you back. 🙂

A New Library In Town: One Stop For Writers

If there’s one thing all writers agree on, it’s that writing is TOUGH. The road to publication twists and dips as we learn the craft, hone our abilities, create stories we’re passionate about, fight discouragement, educate ourselves about the industry…and then start the process all over again as we realize there’s room to improve. But you know what? If you are like me, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yet, sometimes it’s nice to get a helping hand.

Finding a good writing book, a helpful blog, a mentor or critique partner to share the journey with…these things are gems along the writing path.

And guess what? Maybe there’s another resource waiting just up the road called One Stop For Writers.


One Stop For Writers is not writing software, but rather a powerful online library that contains tools, unique description collections, helpful tutorials and much more, brought to you by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi, the authors of The Emotion Thesaurus and Lee Powell, the creator of Scrivener for Windows.

Could One Stop For Writers be the writing partner you’ve been searching for? Visit Writers Helping Writers this week and see, where Angela, Lee and Becca are celebrating their venture with prizes and some pay-it-forward fun.