The Perfect Girl – POV and Tense

You’ve noticed the small design change, but here’s where I’m going with the content. When I began writing it was hard for me to decide on POV (point of view) and tense. At first it seems simple:

First – I, me

Second – You

Third – Suzy, Bob, He, She

But as I delved further into the subject, it’s much harder than I realized.

There’s third person unlimited omniscience and third person limited and, well, there’s a lot to learn. It’s not so easy. Even the best writer’s get mixed up at times. I have read books that have been limited third person (where the main character can’t know what’s going on outside of her realm), but for a brief moment the author forgets and gives us insight to something the main character couldn’t possibly know.

A good first person account is hard to write and when you come across a story that writes one well, it is amazing.

Tense is an issue as well because even in present tense there is backstory to dredge up and then comes the balance of present and past and it needs to be done well enough that a reader doesn’t get lost in the reading process. Whew!

If you have a  recommendation for a book that does a particular POV or a past/present tense transition well, please let me know.  Leave a comment, email, Tweet, Facebook, whatever works best.  🙂

So from here on out I’m going on a learning process and I’m hoping you’ll join me and feed in your thoughts. I’ll post about a book or short story each week. And I’ll list out POV and tense, plus what I feel works and why. The more I do this, the more in-depth my posts will become. These first ones are going to be sparse, until I learn more.

Also, in case you’re an author looking for comparable books and who may have published, edited, or agented (is that even a word?) a book, I’ll list those as well in an effort to make the process a little easier.

The Perfect Girl

By Gilly Macmillan

Publisher: William Morrow

Copyright: 2016

435 pages

Editor: Emma Beswetherick, Editor in the UK

Editor: Amanda Bergeron in the U.S.

Agent: Nelle Andrew

Suspense/ Thriller/ Mystery

The story is about a young girl who made a mistake and did the time for it. After serving her time, her and her mother begin their “second chance life” with a new man and his son. Unfortunately the happiness isn’t long lasting and her mother winds up dead. The story is told over the course of a day (a 24-hour time period). That’s hard to do, keep a story entertaining over such a small time frame.

The book is told in first person, mulitple points of view from Zoe, Tessa, and Sam for approximately the first ¾ of the book, then we get a fourth person, Richard. He is also in first person POV.

Opening Paragraph:

Opening: ZOE

Before the concert begins, I stand inside the entrance to the church and look down the nave. Shadows lurk in the ceiling vaults even though the light outside hasn’t dimmed yet, and behind me the large wooden doors have been pulled shut.

Usually, I’ll stick to one paragraph, but with multiple characters having their say, I’m going to give the first paragraph of each character so that you get an idea of voice and style as well.

Pg. 11 – SAM

At 8 a.m. Tessa still hasn’t stirred, but I’ve been awake since dawn.

     I’m a criminal lawyer, with a heavy workload. I often work late and usually I sleep heavily until my alarm goes off, but today I have a hospital appointment that’s been burning a hole in the page of my diary for more than a week, and it’s on my mind the minute my eyes open.

Pg. 16 – TESSA

When you don’t have kids of your own, people have a tendency to give you things to look after. I think they assume that you’re lacking in outlets for any nurturing instincts that you might have.

Pg. 261 – RICHARD

Keep Calm and Carry On.

            It’s a slogan you see everywhere these days, it’s even printed on one of the tea towels that’s draped over the radiator in our kitchen. It might have recently become part of popular culture, but that slogan has its roots in wartime strength and self-sufficiency, and today I vow to be its living embodiment, because Maria’s death is a tragedy that has thrown our family into crisis, and somebody needs to keep their head.

This one is pretty simple first person all the way around. It is told in mostly present tense with backstory to fill in for all the characters.

The first person was okay, but could have used a lot less: I did, I opened, I saw, I thought.  To me it feels like being held at arm’s length so I can’t get close enough to the characters to fully care about them.

Personally, I was disappointed that Richard’s character came so late in the book. I don’t believe Sam’s narration was necessary. (Spoiler – if you’d like to avoid this just skip to the next paragraph: Tessa is having an affair with Sam and she’s married to Richard. The only reason Sam is in the book –I think- is to point out what Zoe was like after the accident and provide a little extra sub-plot. I really don’t think his voice or story added anything to the book that the author couldn’t have gotten across to us with one of the other character’s mentioning it.)

This is an instant where the book was good, but could have been great if it was a hundred pages shorter and we didn’t have an extra narrator that really added nothing to the story.

Have you read the book? What did you think of the Sam Narrator?


Next Week: Pull Me Under by Kelly Luce

One Week…

Just one week away. I’m excited and scared. I know the first post isn’t perfect.  As I prepare the following posts, they seem to get a bit better. Yes, I could go back and change the first post, but I don’t want to. I want to grow and let others see how an idea changes and forms into what it will eventually become.

Today, choose to smile at someone you’d normally look away from.

2 Weeks…

Two weeks until the new content. And, because I knuckled down, I updated the look once again. The last one worked, but it was just missing something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

There was a little hiccup, but all is still scheduled well. On Thursday, February 2 the new content arrives. Then every Monday thereafter will be new updates.

Today, choose to enjoy what you have in life.


New Look is Here, New Content Direction Coming Soon

It’s a new year and I’m beginning to find my way in life. Yeah, it’s taken some serious time. I never wanted my blog to be about writing in general because let’s face it, I don’t have a degree in writing. I make grammatical errors on a regular basis. I don’t know my dangling modifiers from my bastard enumeration…wait, no I do know something! I do know my bastard enumeration, it’s faulty parallelism. It’s one of the things I actually know and use correctly approximately 88% of the time. And because I’m having a moment of clear honesty, that percentage is just pulled out of thin air. Still, I believe my parallelism is used correctly most of the time.

For years I’ve been searching for what I want my blog to represent. I’ve dipped my toe in many pools and alternately frozen and burned a few little piggies in the process. Nothing seemed right, but I gave it a go. A wise teacher taught me Fail Better. And I have.

There were times I was excited about a blog post and assumed it was the niche I was going to write about. But then I’d go MIA and my blog would send S.Y.B. (save your blog) signals to pull me back. I had avoided it because I had nothing more to say on the topic that seemed so right at that moment.

So I’ve spent some time working through ideas. I’ve asked myself about post ideas, I’ve piddled around the internet looking for what’s missing (in case you’re wondering, nothing’s missing, all that’s left is your own take, your own perspective). I’ve begun a few posts and promptly dismissed them.

Then I sat down and took stock. What do I really love? Life. I thoroughly enjoy life. Don’t get me wrong, many times I’ve been sucked in deep pits of mire that have taken weeks and months to slog through, but I still believe in the end, life is good. Without the muck we can’t appreciate the good stuff. And by good stuff, I mean the simple things like a walk with my boys, getting up town without getting one red-light (those days I should buy lottery tickets).

What else do I like? Reading. I love reading. I love falling into a book and coming out of it and having to adjust to reality. I love thrillers, mysteries, true crime, tear-jerkers, historical fiction, horror, some YA, and some non-fiction. And I love a kick-ass Heroine. However, I like them to be slightly flawed. Which reminds me I really love my KickAss Cheerleader, I don’t think I’ll bury her away completely, maybe once a quarter I’ll bring her out to play on the blog. I appreciate her  no-holds-barred honest insight.

What else do I love? Encouraging others. Nothing grates my nerves more than hearing someone say they aren’t good enough, they don’t know, they don’t have xyz. Probably the number one reason I hate that is because I’ve been there and felt that way. I hated myself then. Feeling weak really burns my britches. So I like to encourage others. But don’t mistake my encouragement for pity. If you aren’t willing to do some work to help yourself I’m kind of snotty… yes, mainly because I had to get snotty with myself to get my butt on the right track.

What else do I love? Learning. I was the child that looked forward to the first day of school every single year. Now that love may not have continued after the first two weeks, but I always looked forward to the next year.

After all those questions I realized what I believe is the right path for my blog. It encompasses reading, learning, and a little bit of encouragement.

Stay tuned because on February 2nd,  2017 I’ll reveal where the blog is going from here, content-wise. In the meantime I’d love to know your thoughts on the new look. I’m super excited. I hope the excitement stays. And if you sense a little slacking off or a need that I haven’t seen, please, please, please, tell me. I can’t fix what I don’t see.

We All Need a Partner

Brothers, Competition, Support System. They push each other to be better.
Brothers, Competition, Support System. They push each other to be better.

I took my twin boys out driving the other day. Twin A had a really good day. Twin B had a fairly off day. As twins their dynamic is always fascinating. They compete with each other and it serves them well. They work hard to edge out each other out. However, they also have a natural support system. They know when to stop competing and start encouraging instead.

As I watched the boys do their competitive/encouragement merry-go-round it dawned on me how much we all need a partner Continue reading “We All Need a Partner”

Are You Disrespectful of Your Readers or Fellow Writers?

Do Not Enter


Do you really care about your readers? Do you care about the writers and/or readers who attend your conferences, workshops, and author readings? Let’s find out.

Everyone has an opinion. That’s good. Life would be miserably boring if we all thought alike. There would be no differences. It’s why politics is such a hot-bed of chaos.

Sadly, over the past twelve years, elections have become more and more volatile. Couple that hatred with the ease of spouting off on social media and everyone is lambasting everyone.

Three Ways You’re Disrespecting Your Reader: Continue reading “Are You Disrespectful of Your Readers or Fellow Writers?”